Tag Archives: jokes

Morning Attitude Check

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Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?” – Dennis & Wendy Mannering.

“If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one.” – Cavett Robert

Attitudes- one of those fabulous things everyone was given. Also, one of those things that you have complete control over. Some of us choose to wake up in the morning thinking about the sun shining, birds chirping and how lovely the day is going to be. Others, wake up beating the crap out of the alarm clock, yelling at the kids to hurry up, and coming down with a case of Tourette’s in the shower just thinking about work.

Bad attitudes, are like the super flu. I have caught myself being around sour puss people and then the next thing you know, I’m a complainer, too! Ahh! Do they have anti-miserable people spray…I definitely need some!

Everyone has bad days, where the stress is sky-high, you feel like a big pile of poop, and nothing is going your way. But, a good thing to remember is, it could be worse! No matter what you are going through, someone out there is having a more difficult time than you could ever think of. So, suck it up….get over it, or go lock yourself in a room somewhere, so you won’t infest anyone else with your bad attitudiness!!

Today, I’m going to compare two different people, and show the different kind of outlooks you can have on common situations. You choose which person represents you 😉

We have:

           Positive Pam         

                                                                                                           &

                                  Negative Nicole


 

 

Situation:

1. Someone walks by and says, “TGIF!!”

PP- Woohoo!! Weekend ahead and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it!!

NN- Yeah, but in two more days, I’m going to be back to work, again…this sucks!

2. You hit morning traffic

PP-  Now I just have more time to listen to my morning playlist, yes!!

NN- Stupid traffic, stupid accident that might have cause this stupid traffic!!

3. At lunch, the restaurant is out of your favorite sandwich

PP- Oh well, it just gives me a chance to try something new!

NN- Really?? Don’t you people know how to order enough food to make it through the lunch rush hour!?!

4. Bank is super busy

PP- It is payday, I will just check my email while I am standing in line.

NN- Holy crap! Does anyone go to the bank any other time, or just when I decide to go!

5. Boss asks you to do something 5 mins before its time to leave

PP- Must be important! I’m going to get it done to keep the boss man happy!

NN- Seriously?? I have been sitting around for the last hour and NOW he asks! That was so done on purpose!!!

6. You win the lottery

PP- Oh my gosh!!! I can’t wait to use the money in so many positive ways! I am going to pick out 10 different charities to help!!

NN- Well, I will most likely end up bankrupt in a couple of years, just like the statistics show!

 

Because you know, winning the lottery is a common situation 😉 lol!!

 

         

 

Don’t be one of those people, that when others see coming….they run and hide, so they don’t have to listen to you and all your negativity! Nobody likes to hear people complain all the time. Don’t pride yourself on being witchy!  You can find rainbows & kittens in everyday, somehow. Sometimes you just have to pull it out from underneath a whole bunch of cow manure!

Have an absolutely, positively, fabulous Friday!! 

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Wanna live dangerously with me? ;)

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In the past year, I have found myself doing things a little out of the ordinary. Does it have to do with the fact I just turned 30 this year? Has this made me want to try things I normally don’t do? Possibly, it’s a way of feeling younger again, without a care in the world. I haven’t put my finger on it just yet.

You might want to ask, “What kind of things are you talking about?”

Maybe: Skydiving, Drag Racing, Playing with Tigers, or swimming with the sharks….

Oh, no. It is not anything like that!

Let me fill you in with a few of the things:

 

The other day I walked into Target, grabbed a buggy, and proceeded past the sanitizing wipes for the handle, without grabbing one….and decided to just see what would happen!

 

 

 

 

 

Several times at the mall, I have decided to walk up the stairs instead of using the escalator or elevator, to get more exercise. Lately, I DO hold onto to those germ infested handles. I’ve had some people look at me with terror in their eyes. lol!

 

 

 

 

I love to dance. Dancing makes me smile, and I do it quite often. But, now my new thing is….dancing in the shower, WITH the water on!!!

I wonder if I fell, if the insurance would even cover it! They may just consider me a high risk policy.

 

That isn’t my shower, by the way. I surely wish it was though…with all those nice shower heads and all!

 

 

I went to walmart one day. As I was leaving my car to walk inside, I decided to risk the chance that anyone would want to steal a Chevy Malibu and left my car doors unlocked. Call me crazy, I know. I mean, it has the factory radio in it and all!

 

P.S- If something does happen to this precious car before I am able to purchase a new one, do not blame me! I am not THAT kind of person and I think Insurance fraud is a VERY bad thing!!!

 

 

It never fails! You make that piece of toast…only to have it land on the floor, with the yummy side down. This time, I said whatever, and picked it up and ate it. My kids looked at me like I had just eaten a centipede. I know it, I’m a rebel!

 

 

I guess I am just throwing caution to the wind!!!

 

Hey! Don’t laugh….I have 2 kids! Did you think I would do something seriously dangerous and risk getting myself killed 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I reckon everyone has a little bit of redneck in them!

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First off….    Woohoo!!!

Now, on to my post!

I was inspired last night while my girls were practicing for cheerleading, to write about Rednecks today.

I believe that we all have a bit of redneck in us, no matter what part of the country/world we were born in. Don’t try denying it….it’s there, so just go ahead and be proud of it! haha!!

But, just as I believe there are different types of friend, you also have different types of Rednecks.

These are the categories I came up with:

-Mild (what I think most of us fall into)

Half and Half  (confused category, sometimes you play it safe on the mild side and then others, you are full on a scary rednecker)

Scary (I think they are all on Jerry Springer) lol!!

I am now going to share a few of my own Redneck jokes. Now, these are mine..I have not taken them from anyone. If anyone has used these before, then they stole them from my thoughts!

– If you take wine in a box to a football game as your refreshment…YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If pulling out the “fine china” means the zoo pal plates are coming out that night…YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

– If you don’t flush on the #1’s in your house to conserve water….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

– If you have a bullhorn at your front door for people to use as the door bell….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If your kids think the best pool float ever is when you turn your beer pong float over in the pool….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK. (This one was done by yours truly 🙂 )

– If I ever come to your house and your idea of BBQ is Manwich….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

– If your favorite show is Swamp People….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If this is your idea of advertising for a date….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If you take a blow up pool to the beach to hold all your “beers”….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, my inspiration for this blog post…

-If you strut around the football field in your fishnet stockings, cut off short shorts, Adidas sandals, yelling at your kids with cigarette in hand, and think you are all that….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

If you have any of your own that you would like to add…I would love to read them!! Comment on this post, so we can all see them 🙂 I know quite a few of you that will be reading this and you guys are freakin funny, so I want to see what you can come up with!

I want to say I was born and raised in Tennessee, so I am a true and proud Southerner, with a mild case of redneck in me. Haha!!

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A FABULOUS WEEKEND!!

See you on Labor Day!!!

Don’t forget……

You better get wearing those white pants this weekend, cause after Labor day you know it’s a sin! 😉