Tag Archives: couples

The world of X’s

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We all love our Ex’s don’t we?!?

I believe that everyone has an ex that can be put into one of the following categories-

  1. What was I thinking?? (That’s what comes to mind when you think back on that relationship)
  2. Psycho (Either turned into a stalker, or just can’t ever let go of the past)
  3. Possibly the one that got away? (You might question..if circumstances would have been different, might they have been “the one?”)
  4. I completely deny dating that person! (Pretty much explains itself)
  5. We tried, it didn’t work, we moved on (You thought it was a good idea, you were wrong.)
  6. He/She is a *beep (they did you dirty)
  7. ?????? (What the heck happened)
  8. Nice, but not the one for me (nice people finish last right?)
  9. Player, player! (oh, these are the favorite)
  10. Conceited to the max (taking the “you gotta love yourself before you can love someone else” saying, way too far)
 What I can’t believe is that fact that so many people I know has a psycho person in their past. I have been upset during break-ups but never to the point of turning crazy. At least I don’t think I have. If an ex of mine happens to be reading this and disagrees, please email me and let me know. I don’t want to misspeak here. I definitely have  never spray painted my name with someone else’s on a stop sign, guard rail or street before. (Yes, I had this happen TO me) I don’t think I have ever caused someone to feel the need to change their number, change their name, move to Alaska and live with the wolves. I have wanted to do that a couple of times to get away from some crazy ex’s. But, instead I am living in Florida and writing a blog with my face plastered on it hoping they will read this and know I’m talking about them! Haha! Just kidding. Living in Florida is a front…I really live in a small city in Iowa, don’t come find me! 😉
My suggestion from now on…Personality Test, Pre-first date.
You grab their email as you are getting their number. You send it off to them a couple of days before the first date. Depending on the results, you confirm or don’t confirm for the date and you save yourself a lot of trouble…easy peasy! Who needs Eharmony, Match.com or those other guys? Handle all of the screening yourself. 😉

Why won’t this flippin’ bug die!!!

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Let me paint the picture….

It was 2:45am this morning, lights and tv were still on because we had passed out from exhaustion. I quickly jumped up in bed, from being woken up suddenly. I didn’t hear anything, but saw one of my cats at the end of the bed, on the floor, playing with something. I called her name to get her to come back and lay down, but she ignored me. Knowing that it must be something big to keep my obedient cat from disregarding my call, I get up to see what she has in front of her. And this is what I found….

 

 

Just the bug, not the cracker.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is now the 3rd one of these nasty things that have invaded my house. It gives me the creepy crawlies, and now it’s in my bedroom!

I yell, OH MY GOSH!!! My lovely man who is next to me asleep, jumps up thinking there is something wrong with the girls, or someone is trying to break in. And then he finds me jumping up and down on the bed, pointing to the floor. He proceeds to be on typical man duty…..bug killer! (Except for spiders, that’s my job….He is a wuss when it comes to those 8 legged creatures) 🙂

He comes armed with a tennis shoe in one hand, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes with the other. As he proceeds to beat the crap out of the bug, it suddenly disappears. So, he chalks it up to the fact that he wounded it and it is sleepy time again. Heck no, there was no shut-eye that was going to take place until that bug was found.

I start to scan the room looking for all the places it could have gone. Well, guess what…it had made its way on the bed!!!!!!  If I hadn’t gone to the bathroom before I went to bed, I most likely would have peed on myself at that point. I had seen him beat that bug a good 5 or 6 times, but it seemed unphased by that size 10 Nike.

Thank goodness he caught the bug off guard, swatted it off the bed, and started hitting it time after time until it was in a million little pieces. Lets see you recover after that Mr. bug, HA!! He then got to take a trip to a watery grave…our toilet!

After that craziness, it was time for us to go back to sleep for a few more hours. But, for a good hour, my mind is racing, my skin is crawling thinking that the bug was probably a mommy, and now the babies are going to come after me while I’m asleep.

Makes you rethink what little or no clothes you wear to bed, huh?? Could you imagine if…nevermind, I’m not going to go there!!!

HAHA!

All those Condoms..

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HERE IS A FUN, FRIENDLY CONDOM PICTURE TO GET THE POST STARTED 🙂

HAHA!

It’s crazy, but I am here to fill you in on the different types that are out there. It blew my mind to find out how many options people have when it comes to purchasing these little rubber things. I BET YOU DIDN’T EITHER, AFTER READING THIS! 😉

Whether it was for yourself, buying them because someone else was too embarrassed, getting them for a bachelor/bachelorette party, etc…I am sure you all have found yourself in “that” aisle (one time or another), trying to figure out what the heck to get.

Just to name a few, you have:

Pleasure Shaped    Ribbed     Textured     Studded    Super thin

Flavored    Glow in the Dark   Female   Desensitizing

Warming   Edible   French ticklers   Tingling

That isn’t even all of them, I just got tired of listing more.

What I get my jollies from, is seeing all the different ways of using them. Okay, other than the obvious…I knew what you were thinking!

I am sure most of you would find these pictures interesting, too.

Anybody up for condom hair ties??

Wonder where you buy one of these colorful dresses??

Now, that’s a different type of balloon animal!!!

I mean, who doesn’t like to wear something a little different every now and then?

Now, this kind of packaging kind of got to me-

This looks too close to chicken. No thank you…

And, Really?? This is just not right!

Hello Kitty is not supposed to be used like that!!

Anyways, I thought this was a funny post to bring some of you “into the know”, if you weren’t already.

But, in all seriousness, if you are completely stumped as to what to be for Halloween, you may have just found your costume…

HAHAHAHA!

Happy Thursday Everyone!! 🙂