Tag Archives: Funnies

The day my cat ate a fake eyelash

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This was taken after the first fake eyelash was a goner, and she was moving on to the next one. 

Shadow & Smokey- those are my cats. Well, they look like cats, but sometimes they surely don’t act like it. Shadow- (the smart one) likes to play catch. It is played with a hairbow, and if you don’t play with her for awhile…she will climb up in the closet, get a hairbow out of the container and bring it to you. Smokey (the over-sized one) he is just plain fat, but I was trying to be nice. He chases his tail, begs for scraps at dinner and is a bully to his sister. Oh, and they both love to play in the water. Identity crisis?? I think so! I am surprised they don’t bark instead of meow at me.

They also don’t eat normal things. Not only does Shadow like to play catch with hairbows, she likes to eat them too. Smokey loves Q-tips…I don’t get it either. I have to hide things like that from them, or I am afraid one day he will die from cotton overdose. This one is great, look at the picture below…

If you gave Shadow the choice of the having the item on the left (yummy cat treats) versus the item on the right (eye makeup remover), she would choose the one on the right EVERY time. She will literally wait till I take my eye makeup off at night and steal the tissue with the remover on it and go hide to lick it. Forget having to lock up prescription drugs or household cleaners from my kids, I am going to have to lock up things from my crazy cats. When she decided to chow down on one of my fake eyelashes the other day (that I had worn on Halloween) I truly wasn’t surprised.

My 10yr old is responsible for cleaning out their litter box. On a few occasions, she has found some cat poo with pieces of hairbows sticking out of it. I have now warned her that she needs to look out for some hairy poo soon. I am pretty sure that she despises having to clean the litter box as one of her chores. I told her to look at it as a surprise….you never know what you will find! 😉

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Which one can’t you live without?

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Okay, I might have been a little sarcastic with the title of this post. Because I am talking about the ever so popular things that we find…

Which one is your favorite??

What I have caved into buying

  • Ped-Egg– works beautifully
  • Slap Chop– crying while cutting onions? no more!!
  • Ab-Circle– Hahahahaha! That was sent right back. Going in circles doesn’t give you super sized abs. Who would have thought!?!
  • Push up pro– not too shabby. But, nothing will make push-ups ever fun and enjoyable!
  • Snuggie– this was bought for me. Doesn’t everyone have to have one??
  • Smooth Away– make it to where you don’t have to shave or get laser hair removal, dang it- I fell for it. Now I use it as a play-doh smasher when I play with my girls.
 Now, these just make me chuckle..
Spending $100’s on bras that make your boobs look natural?? Oh no, you want to go for the, I-wanna-poke-your-eye-out look.
Beware cosmetic dentists, you are going to lose so much business because of this. The lady went from looking like she has tobacco teeth to Ross Geller white instantly!
Ugliest house shoes ever!!
Now we are just being super lazy. Is it that hard to cut brownies after they cool off?
Modern day fanny pack. For all you “fanny lovers” out there, it’s time to upgrade!
And, my new favorite
Pajama Jeans!!!!
Why worry about having to change from bed to work?? They just took all the painful guess-work out of deciding what to wear in the morning. They even say on the commercial you will want to wear them EVERYDAY! Problem solved 🙂
What is your favorite AS SEEN ON TV product?

The world of X’s

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We all love our Ex’s don’t we?!?

I believe that everyone has an ex that can be put into one of the following categories-

  1. What was I thinking?? (That’s what comes to mind when you think back on that relationship)
  2. Psycho (Either turned into a stalker, or just can’t ever let go of the past)
  3. Possibly the one that got away? (You might question..if circumstances would have been different, might they have been “the one?”)
  4. I completely deny dating that person! (Pretty much explains itself)
  5. We tried, it didn’t work, we moved on (You thought it was a good idea, you were wrong.)
  6. He/She is a *beep (they did you dirty)
  7. ?????? (What the heck happened)
  8. Nice, but not the one for me (nice people finish last right?)
  9. Player, player! (oh, these are the favorite)
  10. Conceited to the max (taking the “you gotta love yourself before you can love someone else” saying, way too far)
 What I can’t believe is that fact that so many people I know has a psycho person in their past. I have been upset during break-ups but never to the point of turning crazy. At least I don’t think I have. If an ex of mine happens to be reading this and disagrees, please email me and let me know. I don’t want to misspeak here. I definitely have  never spray painted my name with someone else’s on a stop sign, guard rail or street before. (Yes, I had this happen TO me) I don’t think I have ever caused someone to feel the need to change their number, change their name, move to Alaska and live with the wolves. I have wanted to do that a couple of times to get away from some crazy ex’s. But, instead I am living in Florida and writing a blog with my face plastered on it hoping they will read this and know I’m talking about them! Haha! Just kidding. Living in Florida is a front…I really live in a small city in Iowa, don’t come find me! 😉
My suggestion from now on…Personality Test, Pre-first date.
You grab their email as you are getting their number. You send it off to them a couple of days before the first date. Depending on the results, you confirm or don’t confirm for the date and you save yourself a lot of trouble…easy peasy! Who needs Eharmony, Match.com or those other guys? Handle all of the screening yourself. 😉

Why won’t this flippin’ bug die!!!

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Let me paint the picture….

It was 2:45am this morning, lights and tv were still on because we had passed out from exhaustion. I quickly jumped up in bed, from being woken up suddenly. I didn’t hear anything, but saw one of my cats at the end of the bed, on the floor, playing with something. I called her name to get her to come back and lay down, but she ignored me. Knowing that it must be something big to keep my obedient cat from disregarding my call, I get up to see what she has in front of her. And this is what I found….

 

 

Just the bug, not the cracker.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is now the 3rd one of these nasty things that have invaded my house. It gives me the creepy crawlies, and now it’s in my bedroom!

I yell, OH MY GOSH!!! My lovely man who is next to me asleep, jumps up thinking there is something wrong with the girls, or someone is trying to break in. And then he finds me jumping up and down on the bed, pointing to the floor. He proceeds to be on typical man duty…..bug killer! (Except for spiders, that’s my job….He is a wuss when it comes to those 8 legged creatures) 🙂

He comes armed with a tennis shoe in one hand, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes with the other. As he proceeds to beat the crap out of the bug, it suddenly disappears. So, he chalks it up to the fact that he wounded it and it is sleepy time again. Heck no, there was no shut-eye that was going to take place until that bug was found.

I start to scan the room looking for all the places it could have gone. Well, guess what…it had made its way on the bed!!!!!!  If I hadn’t gone to the bathroom before I went to bed, I most likely would have peed on myself at that point. I had seen him beat that bug a good 5 or 6 times, but it seemed unphased by that size 10 Nike.

Thank goodness he caught the bug off guard, swatted it off the bed, and started hitting it time after time until it was in a million little pieces. Lets see you recover after that Mr. bug, HA!! He then got to take a trip to a watery grave…our toilet!

After that craziness, it was time for us to go back to sleep for a few more hours. But, for a good hour, my mind is racing, my skin is crawling thinking that the bug was probably a mommy, and now the babies are going to come after me while I’m asleep.

Makes you rethink what little or no clothes you wear to bed, huh?? Could you imagine if…nevermind, I’m not going to go there!!!

HAHA!

Hold on…I must Check-in

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HOLY SOCIAL NETWORKING, BATMAN!!!

We are all apart of one of them, whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn. Now, I have recently been thrown into FourSquare and this GetGlue thing. Some of us can be quite obsessed with getting on those magical websites to get the inside info on what our “friends” are doing.

I admit that I am guilty of this. I can find myself during down time, quickly grabbing my phone to see what’s going on in the outside world. Lately, my time on Facebook has actually gone down…but, only to be replaced by FourSquare.

I know people have different opinions on the whole “checking in.” I got into the Facebook places for a bit, especially being at a place with friends, it was fun. Some think it’s ridiculous to show the world where you are at all times. A way of letting a potential burglar know, hey I am not currently home right now!!!!

Oh, but there is something different that has grabbed my attention. Catching deals from places when you check in, becoming Mayor when you frequent somewhere on a regular basis….heck yeah, count me in!!

 

All these little gimmicks to make you feel special. That’s what they are doing!! I totally fall for it too!! HAHA!

But, I feel I must get the most points, I want to be Mayor of everything!! 🙂

Some of my friends make it very difficult for me though, they are super check-in happy. If they could check-in when they were sitting on the toilet, I’m pretty sure they would. Then, they could be Mayor of their own porcelain throne! 😉

I realize all these places I check-in to, are just getting free advertising that’s shooting back and forth across all this networking madness. I think it would be cool if I could get advertisement for myself like this.

Say, one of my friends is calling me…it would automatically plug into FB, Twitter, etc..and say, _______ (friends name) is now talking to TT (AKA- myeventfullife.wordpress.com) Same could work with emails, text messages, and more. I think I’m on to something here! Isn’t it all about knowing what everyone is doing every minute of every day??

Before you know it, we will have a microchip in our brains that will update our status’ and places, while we are thinking about it. No typing would be necessary!

 

 

Eek! That would be extremely creepy!!!

 

 

I reckon everyone has a little bit of redneck in them!

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First off….    Woohoo!!!

Now, on to my post!

I was inspired last night while my girls were practicing for cheerleading, to write about Rednecks today.

I believe that we all have a bit of redneck in us, no matter what part of the country/world we were born in. Don’t try denying it….it’s there, so just go ahead and be proud of it! haha!!

But, just as I believe there are different types of friend, you also have different types of Rednecks.

These are the categories I came up with:

-Mild (what I think most of us fall into)

Half and Half  (confused category, sometimes you play it safe on the mild side and then others, you are full on a scary rednecker)

Scary (I think they are all on Jerry Springer) lol!!

I am now going to share a few of my own Redneck jokes. Now, these are mine..I have not taken them from anyone. If anyone has used these before, then they stole them from my thoughts!

– If you take wine in a box to a football game as your refreshment…YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If pulling out the “fine china” means the zoo pal plates are coming out that night…YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

– If you don’t flush on the #1’s in your house to conserve water….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

– If you have a bullhorn at your front door for people to use as the door bell….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If your kids think the best pool float ever is when you turn your beer pong float over in the pool….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK. (This one was done by yours truly 🙂 )

– If I ever come to your house and your idea of BBQ is Manwich….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

– If your favorite show is Swamp People….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If this is your idea of advertising for a date….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If you take a blow up pool to the beach to hold all your “beers”….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, my inspiration for this blog post…

-If you strut around the football field in your fishnet stockings, cut off short shorts, Adidas sandals, yelling at your kids with cigarette in hand, and think you are all that….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

If you have any of your own that you would like to add…I would love to read them!! Comment on this post, so we can all see them 🙂 I know quite a few of you that will be reading this and you guys are freakin funny, so I want to see what you can come up with!

I want to say I was born and raised in Tennessee, so I am a true and proud Southerner, with a mild case of redneck in me. Haha!!

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A FABULOUS WEEKEND!!

See you on Labor Day!!!

Don’t forget……

You better get wearing those white pants this weekend, cause after Labor day you know it’s a sin! 😉