Tag Archives: 30’s

My failed attempts at becoming Ms. Susie Homemaker

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Did this lady have too much coffee?? No, someone must be standing behind her with a gun, making her say those crazy words!

My failed attempts at becoming Ms. Susie Homemaker

*Before you judge, some of these things I am going to list, happened to me the first time I tried, “making house.” So, don’t go thinking I am completely homemaker challenged.

  • Did you happen to know the bottom drawer of a gas stove is not a drawer for pans? Growing up with an electric stove, I had no idea. It’s the broiler. My nice new pans met an awful fiery grave.
  • DO NOT, I repeat do not use Dishwashing Liquid in the dishwasher. See, they just confuse you with this one. They should just call it sink dish soap instead. Anyone could have made that mistake. RESULT: my kitchen turned into a bubble bath.
  • King size comforters cannot be washed in a normal size washer. Hey, the lady at the dry cleaners said it would be $35 to clean it. So, I stuffed and stuffed and then some flooding occurred. RESULT: I had an indoor pool for a day.
  • Did you know you can actually burn something in a crock pot? I made that happen, somehow. I call that, skill.
  • I blew up a microwave. All I am going to say is I put something in there that wasn’t supposed to go.
  • Vacuum cleaners despise me. I think I have broken 4 in the past 2 years. I am not quite sure, I have lost count.
  • Irons and steamers have it out for me. 2nd degree burns on my hands, arms, whatever they can get to. I haven’t figured out what I ever did to them to deserve this kind of treatment.
Don’t feel too sorry for me…I have improved over the years. My cooking has gotten considerably better, clothes get de-wrinkled from the dryer, I went back to ONLY electric appliances, I use my microwave for popcorn and to melt butter, that’s it. I have a lifetime supply of REAL dishwashing detergent, and to clean my comforter, I just give it a sponge bath. But, the vacuum cleaners are still winning. Curse those little suckers!
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Wanna live dangerously with me? ;)

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In the past year, I have found myself doing things a little out of the ordinary. Does it have to do with the fact I just turned 30 this year? Has this made me want to try things I normally don’t do? Possibly, it’s a way of feeling younger again, without a care in the world. I haven’t put my finger on it just yet.

You might want to ask, “What kind of things are you talking about?”

Maybe: Skydiving, Drag Racing, Playing with Tigers, or swimming with the sharks….

Oh, no. It is not anything like that!

Let me fill you in with a few of the things:

 

The other day I walked into Target, grabbed a buggy, and proceeded past the sanitizing wipes for the handle, without grabbing one….and decided to just see what would happen!

 

 

 

 

 

Several times at the mall, I have decided to walk up the stairs instead of using the escalator or elevator, to get more exercise. Lately, I DO hold onto to those germ infested handles. I’ve had some people look at me with terror in their eyes. lol!

 

 

 

 

I love to dance. Dancing makes me smile, and I do it quite often. But, now my new thing is….dancing in the shower, WITH the water on!!!

I wonder if I fell, if the insurance would even cover it! They may just consider me a high risk policy.

 

That isn’t my shower, by the way. I surely wish it was though…with all those nice shower heads and all!

 

 

I went to walmart one day. As I was leaving my car to walk inside, I decided to risk the chance that anyone would want to steal a Chevy Malibu and left my car doors unlocked. Call me crazy, I know. I mean, it has the factory radio in it and all!

 

P.S- If something does happen to this precious car before I am able to purchase a new one, do not blame me! I am not THAT kind of person and I think Insurance fraud is a VERY bad thing!!!

 

 

It never fails! You make that piece of toast…only to have it land on the floor, with the yummy side down. This time, I said whatever, and picked it up and ate it. My kids looked at me like I had just eaten a centipede. I know it, I’m a rebel!

 

 

I guess I am just throwing caution to the wind!!!

 

Hey! Don’t laugh….I have 2 kids! Did you think I would do something seriously dangerous and risk getting myself killed 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dieting, Smieting!

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So, I was warned. I was told to beware of what happens when you turn 30!! Dun, dun, dun!!!!

What the heck happened??

As if leaving your twenties isn’t bad enough, you get a pooch thrown at you with a side of love handles and a flabbier ass! I know I had been slowing down my workouts for the past few months. But, it’s not like I was laying on the couch everyday watching Tyra and One life to live while munching on a bag of chips! Sheesh!!

My body took a bit of a pit stop from the usual toned road I was used to going down. So, now I have a life full of, “don’t eat that”, or “this is better for you”, and “I haven’t worked out enough today to get away with eating that”, going through my head constantly.

This is for the birds, I say! I have cut back on the snacky foods that I have come to love so much, and replaced them by some “healthier” choices. But, I do refuse to go down the road again of no taste-ville. Trust me, I have been there before and almost starved myself to death. When I was hiding food in my bag and sneaking it into the bathroom at an ex’s house, I knew my body was about to protest in a bad way.

So, instead of having only protein shakes, oatmeal, bland chicken with no seasoning and snacks that look like dog poop, I will eat healthier than I was. But, I am not giving up my favorite foods! Life is way too short to sit around, eating cardboard trying to lose those last couple of pounds. If I have to start working out an hour a day just so I can enjoy that occasional ice cream, french fries, or twizzlers (my favorite), then that’s what I shall do.

Just say NO, to eating Tree bark! 😉