Tag Archives: Funny

My worrying is on overdrive

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Yep! That’s me…I am a worrier.

Did this happen when I was younger? Nope, just after I had kids. Time goes by super, duper fast and I worry all the time now. Yes, I am religious and I do pray about my worries, it’s just the letting go part that is difficult for me.

I had this idea that after the “deed” is done, you should get an email before the sperm is about to attach and hold on for dear life. The email would say, do you accept this amount of worry/responsibility that is about to be bestowed upon you. Click yes or no. If you click no, the sperm would blow up, well maybe not blow up, but venture off on a different route. If you click yes, then you are fully aware and you were warned.

Of course, if this ever was a possibility (however small it may be, everything is done by email nowadays), I would have most definitely clicked yes for both of my girls. It’s just before you have kids, YOU HAVE NO IDEA! Your life is about to be replaced with a full-time job of worrying for your little one…

– Don’t jump on your bed, you could fall off and hit your head.

– Don’t even think about running with those scissors in your hand.

– Be careful, you almost crossed the street without looking.

– Wear your helmet/pads on your bike, you could fall off and get hurt.

– Don’t you dare go by that pool till I am outside.

And it could go on for pages! Any of this sound familiar?

Then, it gets worse as they get older. The worries get bigger and bigger and bigger. According to my mom, it never stops, even when kids grow up and move out of the house. Awesome!

I really am trying to get a handle on all my worries. But, I have to blame the news for part of it. I like to refer to the news as the DEVIL. 😉 I never even know half the crap that goes on in the world, till I turn on the news. A good side is being informed, and a bad side is now knowing all this yuck that goes on. So, that just adds to my worry…damn you news! It doesn’t help that with my cable provider the default channel when you turn on my t.v. is, guess what….the 24hr news station!! You can’t get away from it!

So, I really am going to work on it. But, to all of those who read this and don’t have kids, listen to me. Since the whole email thing isn’t in action yet, I am trying to warn you now. It is a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment all rolled up into a ball with a huge amount of worrying/responsibility with being a parent.

When I was younger, my grandmother would always talk about how much she worried about us. I would just look at her and say, “that’s crazy, Mamaw we are fine, you don’t need to worry about us.” Now I am so much like my 92-year-old grandmother, IT IS CRAZY!

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Bazinga!

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Did I scare you? I am baaaaack! I was gone on a very long, difficult hiatus. Maybe not difficult, but I had a lot of crap going on, man. Let me bring you up to speed on what has been happening while I have been away….

– We were gone long days around Christmas visiting just about every family member we have.

Image  (fyi- that is not my family above, if you were curious. We don’t wear weird cones on our heads while eating.)

–  A very close family member of mine had what was to be “routine” surgery and it basically turned into everything but routine. Which he is still having difficulty with to this day. The hospital can be a very bad place. I believe the only way I will ever be admitted to one is NOT because of a surgery I decide I want, but because of one I HAVE to have.

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– I was planning what was to be, “the birthday party of a lifetime”, for my 6 year old daughter. The reason I say lifetime is because I am pretty sure she won’t get another birthday party like that for the rest of the time she is living with us. It wore me out! 50’s Pink Ladies Birthday Party with more decorations than I have ever done before. It was great, everyone showed up, the kids didn’t like my plans…they enjoyed jumping on Sienna’s “trampoline” in her room (AKA- her bed). I tried….I have pictures, and hopefully it was enjoyed by all. Sienna can’t ever deny we didn’t ever give her a big party. I have witnesses!

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 Just to name a few more things…

-I have been a busy bee studying, and will be taking my PT test soon! Woohoo 🙂

– I am planning a wedding here, people! Can’t wait!!

There are several other things that have made me have a super busy life lately, like most other people.

Sorry, I was away for so long. I intend on doing a better job now. I may not be posting every day, but certainly a heck of a lot better than I have been doing. Maybe a few times a week, so get ready!

And Happy Day after Tax Day!

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The statue of liberty tax people have a few months off now. 🙂

On to the next one…Ho, Ho, Ho

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Throw out the pumpkins, and scary decorations…it’s time for the next Holiday, well kind of. Wal-Mart and Target are already ready. Heck, they have been ready for the past month with their shelves already stocked full of Christmas items. Before you know it, Christmas decorations will start coming out with 4TH of July fireworks. You could have Santa flying out of a rocket!

Do you ever wonder what happened to Thanksgiving?? That holiday gets the short end of the stick. The decorations are thrown in with Halloween, a few festive turkey’s here and there, but who can find them over the fake blood and animated life-size murderer’s to put at your front door.

I think there should be a good 2 weeks between the Halloween/Fall decorations, to when the Christmas ones arrive. Isn’t this time of year hectic enough without creating a sense of urgency to buy a tree before the weather even turns cold? I guess if I waited in Florida for the weather to turn cold before I start decorating for the Holidays, I would be waiting closer to Valentine’s day!

I am trying to put the emphasis on being more thankful this year. Hopefully, my thankful vase will help a little. I am also going to refuse to put up Christmas decorations till after Thanksgiving has past. Let’s get through that first! I can only focus on a few things at a time with this older age that has hit me. I think I may make a 10ft sign to put up in my house that says BE THANKFUL this month, and possibly get a pet turkey. My girls might wonder what happens to the turkey when November 24th rolls around. But, I will worry about that a little later! 😉

HAPPY NOVEMBER!!

Keep in mind what you are thankful for!! 🙂

Holy Halloween Batman!

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The official day is upon us!!

Everyone has been gearing up for this day, and now it’s finally here. I know this weekend was filled with Halloween parties, pumpkin patches, trunk or treats and all kinds of fun festive stuff. Facebook is covered in party pictures, and profile pictures are being changed left and right to show off fabulous costumes. I am pretty impressed this year with some of the costumes I have seen. Some people got all snazzed up, others just got as naked as possible. Someone on my Facebook made the comment…A lot of girls are making their daddy’s proud this weekend! Haha- So very true!

Tonight is the important trick or treat time. This is how our trick or treating will go…

6:30- Leave the house and start traveling down the street, ringing door bells.

6:35- My youngest will pass off her trick or treat bag because it’s already getting too heavy for her.

6:45- All of a sudden water will be needed as if they are about to die of dehydration.

6:55- Their bags are already full. Is it time to be done now MOMMY?

7:00- Back to our house…trick or treating -DONE!

I am not sure if I should think my kids are somewhat lazy, or they are just excited about having more than a few pieces of candy in their possession. (We never keep much candy in the house) I guess I should be happy they don’t want to keep me out for hours. I just feel like perfectly good costumes aren’t being used like they should be. I think next year, I will have them start wearing their costumes at the beginning of October when we go to Target, the Mall, Publix, and out to eat, then I will feel like we got our monies worth. Just watch, they will probably hate their costumes before Halloween gets there!

All I know is, we played it a little different back in the day.

This sign would have been laughed at…

Seriously?? People are mighty trusting nowadays with Trick or Treaters!

And this was your trick or treat bag…

A trash bag!

I’d say we were trick or treating for several hours. Get done in your own subdivision? Move on to the next one! Kids just don’t have the stamina these days!

Here is my costume this year (with my mister who decided to not even come close to matching me) He scared a small child on Saturday night at a party we went to. I think it made him feel proud of his outfit.

It’s a little blurry because my 10 yr old has issues with my iPhone camera.

I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A-

Thoughts from Kindergarteners

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Today I went to volunteer in my youngest daughters classroom. She is in the best grade at school, Kindergarten. I really don’t know how you can be around a bunch of 5 yr olds and be in a bad mood. Even if they aren’t listening and a bit unruly, they still have the funniest things to say. The bulletin boards outside the classrooms always have the best artwork. Before going in my daughters class this morning, I decided to read what all the kids had to say. I took a couple of pictures and I want to share those with you.

I think the first sentence says..The dad does all the hunting and owls eat skunks and mice. This next one, I am a little confused about- Babe owls colon owlet??

Proper punctuation on this one was key! For a minute I thought this child wrote that animals eat children in the fall! What a horrible season it would be then.

What my family does together- Either they have a green tornado in their house that they play in together, or they need to invest in a pool guy so they can have blue water in their poor pool!

When I saw this picture all I thought was, her dad must be a clown!

Of course today all they could talk about was Halloween, their costumes, all the candy they would be getting tonight, and how long it was going to be before night time came. One little girl told me that instead of getting candy when she goes trick or treating, she gets money. I asked her where she lived and told her we would show up at 6 o’ clock sharp!

I (I mean), my girls would love to go trick or treating in that subdivision!! 😉

Go ahead and call me a scaredy cat

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From last weeks post, we all know as a kid I was scared of the basement at my parents house. But, that was just the beginning.

My basement fear turned into, someone-breaking-into-the-house fear. And to this day, I still have that problem. I guess watching too many scary movies of that happening, has scarred me for life. When I was younger, I seriously needed this sign outside my bedroom.

 

I had things hanging above my bedroom door just waiting to fall on a suspicious someone trying to come in. Bungee cords that people use on trucks to keep things from moving, I had near my window tied from one piece of furniture to another, so if someone came in my window, they would trip. Sharp objects all over my floor to fall on (incase they made it past the cords and falling debris from my door) Lastly, I was camouflaged in my bed.

I would get in my bed, pile every stuffed animal I owned all around me so I would blend in. Because you know I am all furry and stuffed, with big black eyes that never close and troll-like hair. Nobody would ever find me in there!!

Now, I am still frightened of someone breaking into my house. When we moved this past time, I was super happy to be moving into a subdivision that has gates with guards 24/7, and into a house that the previous owner must have had the same fear as me. Our house is wired like its Fort Knox. Every window and door, (even interior doors) are all alarmed up. The window upstairs in the shower which is not quite big enough for my 40 pound, 5-year-old to fit through, is even alarmed. A little excessive I think, but I don’t mind! If someone is still able to get past the gates, guards, and alarms. I am armed with something pretty powerful beside my nightstand.

Yep, it’s a softball bat. A heavy one that can inflict some serious damage. So someone better think twice before getting past those ADT signs. I’ve got a mean swing, oh and I’m a ninja too.

 


The scariest place in the world!

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The scariest place in the world!!!

(When I was a kid it was)

My parent’s basement!!

What is it when you are a kid? A dark basement in your house can be the worst place to ever be, by yourself. When I was younger, I absolutely hated to go downstairs into that deep, dark dungeon. I had thoughts of ax murderers, ghosts, witches, bats, rooms crawling with bugs and anything else my vivid imagination would bring up of what all was living down there. You would have thought someone lit my ass on fire when I came back up the stairs after turning the lights off. Who knew I could climb stairs that fast?!?

One of the reasons I despised going down to the basement was because of the CHINA DOLL. If you haven’t heard the story of the china doll, you should check it out here, CHINA DOLL STORY.

Of course now, that story is just silly. But, when I was a kid I never wanted to go to sleep because I heard this story and then come to find out, WE had a china doll in our basement!!! That kind of stress no kid should have to handle. So, needless to say I hated our basement and having to go to sleep in our house.

As we got older, the basement was just another floor to our house. But, the scariness was passed on to my kids. We live in Florida, we don’t have a basement. So, somehow our first floor became “the basement.” The other night, all 3 of us were upstairs and all the lights were off downstairs. My oldest needed to get something out of her book bag which happened to be located on the scary floor. I told her to go ahead and get it. She looked at me reluctantly, and walked slowly to the stairs. She ran so fast down and back up the stairs that it shook the entire house. Come to find out, she thinks a bear lives in our downstairs bathroom and it only comes out when she is down there by herself. Let me show you a picture of this bathroom.

Even with the lights off you can see the entire bathroom clearly.

According to her, the bear lives in the wall and then it comes out to attack her. Gotta love our imaginations when we are kids. Thanks to me, she can read this blog post when she gets older and show it to her friends about how brave she was as a child. Too bad my mom didn’t keep that china doll….I’m just kidding, I would never do that to my kids! 😉