Monthly Archives: August 2011

Dieting, Smieting!

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So, I was warned. I was told to beware of what happens when you turn 30!! Dun, dun, dun!!!!

What the heck happened??

As if leaving your twenties isn’t bad enough, you get a pooch thrown at you with a side of love handles and a flabbier ass! I know I had been slowing down my workouts for the past few months. But, it’s not like I was laying on the couch everyday watching Tyra and One life to live while munching on a bag of chips! Sheesh!!

My body took a bit of a pit stop from the usual toned road I was used to going down. So, now I have a life full of, “don’t eat that”, or “this is better for you”, and “I haven’t worked out enough today to get away with eating that”, going through my head constantly.

This is for the birds, I say! I have cut back on the snacky foods that I have come to love so much, and replaced them by some “healthier” choices. But, I do refuse to go down the road again of no taste-ville. Trust me, I have been there before and almost starved myself to death. When I was hiding food in my bag and sneaking it into the bathroom at an ex’s house, I knew my body was about to protest in a bad way.

So, instead of having only protein shakes, oatmeal, bland chicken with no seasoning and snacks that look like dog poop, I will eat healthier than I was. But, I am not giving up my favorite foods! Life is way too short to sit around, eating cardboard trying to lose those last couple of pounds. If I have to start working out an hour a day just so I can enjoy that occasional ice cream, french fries, or twizzlers (my favorite), then that’s what I shall do.

Just say NO, to eating Tree bark! 😉

douchebags and beyond..

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Anyone that is remotely close to me knows the amount of douchebags I have had in my life in the past year and a half. I will not be going into specifics just yet….oh but I will, later!!

I have learned by my experiences, or by others around me, that you can/can’t find a good, respectful, trustworthy and caring guys in these places:

CAN’T

-Bar (obviously) if you can, you are part of that lucky .5%

– Work place

– Gym

-Neighborhood

-Extra curricular activities

– Through friends (this could quite honestly be the worst) -Made me wonder what my friends thought of me, haha!!

CAN

– ??????

Anyone want to help me out here?? 😉

Just kidding! I have someone wonderful in my life now, after going through dating hell and back. I do feel for those who are going through the dating scene, because it can be a bitch!!

I have a numbered list of all the douchebags in my life. Each put in their necessary ranking spot according to their douch-iness. One thing is for sure, I am so much stronger because of these crazy guys!!

This story is to be continued…

That video is freakin’ funny!! I had to share 🙂

You swing, I scream, we all swing…no, no we don’t all swing!!

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I know it’s been around for awhile, I’m not that naive. But, has an explosion happened lately that has made it the latest fad??

Maybe Florida is one of “those” kind of states too. HAHA!

I have either met, been approached by, or heard of an alarming number of swingers since I have lived in Tampa. I definitely don’t understand this kind of lifestyle. Without getting too graphic in this post, I just don’t understand the appeal. The thought of “sharing” the person I am with, on a regular basis to other friends, strangers, or party go-ers while you are present, makes me feeling like jello inside. Blah!

Even though I don’t get it, if that’s the kind of thing you like…more power to you. But, can you just keep it to yourself and not approach me anymore. I mean, is there a non-swinger sticker I can wear, or does the color yellow have a secret code of, “that person is a no go”? Cause I will gladly stock my closet full of that not so charming color on me.

I am just going to give out a little warning to anyone in this area, or someone moving to this area, be careful! That next door neighbor, friend, acquaintance, co-worker, or that unassuming guy at the bar, may have a few secrets up their sleeves about what goes down in their spare time.

I vote they all move to a Swinger Island. 🙂

My blogging is back…

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So, I was gone for quite a while from my old blog. I have decided to start this new one. I am back to my old self after a little bit of me acting like I was 21 again.

Finally, after coming to my senses (with a little help from family and friends) I have figured why I had such crazy things happen to me in the past decade, to give me material. At least when my kids get older they definitely wont think I have lived a boring life!

Stay tuned to my blog, because you will most likely be amazed, laugh your booty off at times, and then others, just hang your head in disbelief of all the things that I experienced during my twenties.

I promise you will be entertained 😉

Love to you all,

T

Dear Sweet Florida

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I have been living in Florida now for almost 3 yrs. People weren’t kidding when they said this is NOT part of the south, it is its own country!

IN FLORIDA- (just to name a few)

It doesn’t matter what massive amount of hair products you use, sorry…the humidity will win!

An alligator walking across the street in front of your house, isn’t unusual.

Hurricanes are looked at as a time to party!

If you own a pool and it doesn’t have a lanai around it, it’s an odd ball out.

They have outdoor sports in only the fall and spring. Summer is completely out of the question because all the kids would turn into bacon.

Winter event planners use shaved ice to trick the kids into thinking they are playing with real snow.

You never go to the beach on holidays! The tourists will drive you nuts!!

We probably have the worst drivers, ever! Between the retired folks, the massive amount of DUI’s that take place, the speed racers, and the people visiting that have no idea where the heck they are going…you should say a prayer every time you start to drive!!

Now….

IN NEW TAMPA-

You better just slam on your brakes and let the person behind you, hit you. Because whatever you do, don’t hit those Sand Hill Cranes!! 😉

Cross Creek is seriously turning into Cross Crizzle- sorry, but it is.

You need to either take some medicine or keep Chinese stress balls in your car for when you travel down Bruce B Downs.

Don’t even think about speeding or doing a U-Turn. Cops…We surely don’t have a shortage here.

There seriously are 4 Elementary schools within 2.5 miles of each other.

Barcodes are just about on everyone’s cars.

Construction, construction, construction.

Please comment if you have any to add to the list. I would love to hear them!

Florida is an interesting state to say the least. But, I am glad to be called a Floridian. (For now, until we screw something else up that makes National news) LOL!!