Category Archives: Uncategorized

Kids and that stuff they say…

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It is true. No one else will tell you the heart-breaking truth quite like kids do.

Sometimes, I wish I could erase the question I just asked my girls and move on. I always said that I was going to keep a journal of the things my girls said as they are young. But, unfortunately I didn’t and my mind (to my surprise) has lost some things from the past. There are a select few that I am pretty sure I can never forget. I do wish I would just carry a camcorder around with me always…I’m sure I could make money off of what my youngest says now. I am listing some of my favorites below-

SOO-SEE 

It’s pronounced like shoe-she.

Sushi

LIMBO 

Limo

F-in Milk (I chose not to write the whole first word out) 😉

Chocolate Milk

Fly like a cheese stick

and that is what the song was called, not…

  I could probably go on forever. Both of my girls have such amazing personalities that I am thankful for each day. Now, when my 6 yr old tells me that I look so different and funny with my make-up off…That is when I wish she would keep at least 10% of her thoughts to herself. 🙂

Bazinga!

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Did I scare you? I am baaaaack! I was gone on a very long, difficult hiatus. Maybe not difficult, but I had a lot of crap going on, man. Let me bring you up to speed on what has been happening while I have been away….

– We were gone long days around Christmas visiting just about every family member we have.

Image  (fyi- that is not my family above, if you were curious. We don’t wear weird cones on our heads while eating.)

–  A very close family member of mine had what was to be “routine” surgery and it basically turned into everything but routine. Which he is still having difficulty with to this day. The hospital can be a very bad place. I believe the only way I will ever be admitted to one is NOT because of a surgery I decide I want, but because of one I HAVE to have.

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– I was planning what was to be, “the birthday party of a lifetime”, for my 6 year old daughter. The reason I say lifetime is because I am pretty sure she won’t get another birthday party like that for the rest of the time she is living with us. It wore me out! 50’s Pink Ladies Birthday Party with more decorations than I have ever done before. It was great, everyone showed up, the kids didn’t like my plans…they enjoyed jumping on Sienna’s “trampoline” in her room (AKA- her bed). I tried….I have pictures, and hopefully it was enjoyed by all. Sienna can’t ever deny we didn’t ever give her a big party. I have witnesses!

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 Just to name a few more things…

-I have been a busy bee studying, and will be taking my PT test soon! Woohoo 🙂

– I am planning a wedding here, people! Can’t wait!!

There are several other things that have made me have a super busy life lately, like most other people.

Sorry, I was away for so long. I intend on doing a better job now. I may not be posting every day, but certainly a heck of a lot better than I have been doing. Maybe a few times a week, so get ready!

And Happy Day after Tax Day!

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The statue of liberty tax people have a few months off now. 🙂

Hey, can I call you back in a second?

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We all know this has a lot of different meanings!!!

You call someone, they are either in the middle of something, or just aren’t available to talk at that moment. So, you get a, “Hey, can I call you back in a second?” Now, it seems such an innocent phrase that most of us say, “oh, okay”, only to wait patiently for a returned phone call.

This phone call can come within the next couple of minutes (highly unlikely), or a couple of hours, and possibly even a day or so later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, guess what….

I believe I have an answer!! This would save so many people some precious moments of their life! No more of that silly waiting game…no siree!

Okay, lets say you get a phone call,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apparently, Steve Jobs is trying to get in touch with you. But, you just don’t have the time right now. So, you get a pop up of a green answer button, red decline button, OR a yellow option button..now, its like a stop light.

That yellow option button pops up a screen with well, different options. Such as:

 

 

 

1 – For, I can get back to you in like 5 to 10 mins

2- For, I’m busy, you gotta give me an hour or two

3- For, I’m crazy swamped, I’m thinking half a day later you might hear back

4- For, Just text me, that is all I can do now

5- For, So sorry but I don’t ever plan on returning your call

This would be a way to respectfully decline phone calls. That red decline button can make you feel a little evil every now and then. This is your “not so harsh” alternative. Well, that is if you don’t use option #5 all the time to tell everyone to go away! haha!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just remember when someone calls you, they have feelings, too! Your phone call might be what they have been looking forward to all day.

It’s all just apart of the book, that no one seems to have on their night stand anymore…

Can I get an AMEN?? 😉

Sunday Funnies

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Funny haha’s for Sunday!

I reckon everyone has a little bit of redneck in them!

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First off….    Woohoo!!!

Now, on to my post!

I was inspired last night while my girls were practicing for cheerleading, to write about Rednecks today.

I believe that we all have a bit of redneck in us, no matter what part of the country/world we were born in. Don’t try denying it….it’s there, so just go ahead and be proud of it! haha!!

But, just as I believe there are different types of friend, you also have different types of Rednecks.

These are the categories I came up with:

-Mild (what I think most of us fall into)

Half and Half  (confused category, sometimes you play it safe on the mild side and then others, you are full on a scary rednecker)

Scary (I think they are all on Jerry Springer) lol!!

I am now going to share a few of my own Redneck jokes. Now, these are mine..I have not taken them from anyone. If anyone has used these before, then they stole them from my thoughts!

– If you take wine in a box to a football game as your refreshment…YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If pulling out the “fine china” means the zoo pal plates are coming out that night…YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

– If you don’t flush on the #1’s in your house to conserve water….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

– If you have a bullhorn at your front door for people to use as the door bell….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If your kids think the best pool float ever is when you turn your beer pong float over in the pool….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK. (This one was done by yours truly 🙂 )

– If I ever come to your house and your idea of BBQ is Manwich….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

– If your favorite show is Swamp People….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If this is your idea of advertising for a date….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

-If you take a blow up pool to the beach to hold all your “beers”….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, my inspiration for this blog post…

-If you strut around the football field in your fishnet stockings, cut off short shorts, Adidas sandals, yelling at your kids with cigarette in hand, and think you are all that….YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

If you have any of your own that you would like to add…I would love to read them!! Comment on this post, so we can all see them 🙂 I know quite a few of you that will be reading this and you guys are freakin funny, so I want to see what you can come up with!

I want to say I was born and raised in Tennessee, so I am a true and proud Southerner, with a mild case of redneck in me. Haha!!

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A FABULOUS WEEKEND!!

See you on Labor Day!!!

Don’t forget……

You better get wearing those white pants this weekend, cause after Labor day you know it’s a sin! 😉

Friend meter…do you have one??

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When I was thinking of this post, I did not know there was a friend meter on facebook, till I googled this. Guess that answered my question then….lots of people have friend meters!!!

I am pretty sure that all of us can place our FRIENDS into one of these categories:

Best– (Can count on for pretty much anything) These come few and far between!!

Good (They are part of your normal crowd, but you don’t necessarily share everything with them)

Wishy washy– (They are here….then they aren’t, wait..then they are back)

Social(hang out together pretty much when you are just out and about, run into at the same places)

Acquaintances(Yeah, I’m cool with that person)

Now,

Past Friends have different categories:

These people help me appreciate my true friends, more and more each day!! 🙂

Back stabbers(To your face, “I like you, I like you”, behind your back, “_____ is such a   b*tch”)

LiarsNo definition needed (Maybe they think if they lie, you will like them better) It is very confusing to me!

UsersThis is my favorite….why you say? Because this is what I seem to run into, a lot! I have had so many people use me, that I should be able to report them to the cops for stealing from me!!! My time, money, etc.

Then, there are some past friends that are all of those above put together!! I have had some of those in the past few years!! Those are the ones you want to red flag them some where on their head, so you can save some other people from all the trouble!

Like how guys should have a douchebag meter, I think all women should have a friend meter (like above). So, if you find yourself talking to someone who is even remotely close to the red….you need to run like hell away from them! lol!!

They say when you get older you are lucky if you can count on one hand how many true friends you have.

I most definitely agree, but I would like to revise that saying for women.

– Women are lucky if you can count on one hand how many true friends you have that secretly aren’t out to destroy, control, corrupt you or steal your man!! haha!!

Dieting, Smieting!

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So, I was warned. I was told to beware of what happens when you turn 30!! Dun, dun, dun!!!!

What the heck happened??

As if leaving your twenties isn’t bad enough, you get a pooch thrown at you with a side of love handles and a flabbier ass! I know I had been slowing down my workouts for the past few months. But, it’s not like I was laying on the couch everyday watching Tyra and One life to live while munching on a bag of chips! Sheesh!!

My body took a bit of a pit stop from the usual toned road I was used to going down. So, now I have a life full of, “don’t eat that”, or “this is better for you”, and “I haven’t worked out enough today to get away with eating that”, going through my head constantly.

This is for the birds, I say! I have cut back on the snacky foods that I have come to love so much, and replaced them by some “healthier” choices. But, I do refuse to go down the road again of no taste-ville. Trust me, I have been there before and almost starved myself to death. When I was hiding food in my bag and sneaking it into the bathroom at an ex’s house, I knew my body was about to protest in a bad way.

So, instead of having only protein shakes, oatmeal, bland chicken with no seasoning and snacks that look like dog poop, I will eat healthier than I was. But, I am not giving up my favorite foods! Life is way too short to sit around, eating cardboard trying to lose those last couple of pounds. If I have to start working out an hour a day just so I can enjoy that occasional ice cream, french fries, or twizzlers (my favorite), then that’s what I shall do.

Just say NO, to eating Tree bark! 😉